Let’s be honest, it would be difficult to get through life alone. This is something that we are especially witnessing in 2020 right now. If we want to thrive and get through life more smoothly we need to have support systems. This can look different for everyone based on our own individual needs, but nevertheless at some point we need people or maybe even just one person to be in our corner. How do we know what to really look for when we sit down and analyze our support systems and who’s in it?
There are different reasons for having a support system. You can have a personal or professional support system; people keeping you grounded in your personal life or throughout your career. Some people can be apart of both. It is important to note that your support system can change as you progress and further your journey. This is okay and you should welcome the changes.
Please understand that not everyone you know is going to make the cut. People are in our lives for different reasons, whether we know what the reason is or not. From the personal standpoint you might have a significant other or friends who don’t support you. In last week’s post Discovering Life’s Purpose I spoke about how to find out what our purpose is. I can honestly attest and say that being with the wrong person for years made me lose sight of what my purpose was. Not only was there lack of support coming from him, I was being too supportive!
When building a support system make sure the person/people are motivated and working towards something. Throughout those years in my previous relationship I was being a support system to someone who didn’t know what he wanted out of life. Him not knowing what was next for his life and really not being motivated meant that he couldn’t be the support that I needed. I didn’t realize it at the time but now I understand the importance of having people in my life who want to better themselves. If you want to dissect it from a friendship point of view, it’s simple, every so-called “friend” won’t be supporting you. This could also be the same type of situation when it comes to dealing with family members.
It’s good to have a support system that wants to see you win. Note, you don’t need someone in your life that is a “yes man” but you do need genuine support. As an introvert I would consider myself to be naturally observant. It’s crazy what you notice when you just listen, look and analyze. Have you ever mentioned one of your goals to someone or showed them an accomplishment or just something that you were proud of and you didn’t receive the reaction that you expected? What did you notice and how did it make you feel? We want the people in our lives to be happy for us. Instead of showing genuine happiness, you might’ve notice that their energy was off or they may have even countered back with a negative response. When you are on a journey to better yourself and grow you have to decide accordingly, who is and who isn’t good for your life.
A good support system needs to be able to hold you accountable. This goes back to the “yes man” thing. If people are scared to tell you when you are wrong or hold back from helping you in a situation that they are more familiar with, there’s a problem. We cannot always grow or evolve on our own. The people who are in our support systems have a different perspective than our own and should show up in their roles when it is necessary.
At times, we need a support system that will listen. Supporting the people in your life can require simple tasks. We each are taking our own journeys and are facing obstacles along the way. It is important to have those in our lives that we can just talk to. Be mindful that some people in your life may not always feel like talking about what’s going on.
We must have support systems that are there for us in moments of need. It’s sad to hold someone in high esteem and then be disappointed when they mistreat you or don’t seem to value you as much as you value them. At a time like now and going forward, we should all be doing our parts to be of service to those close to us as well as those in our communities. We can’t do it all alone and we shouldn’t have to.
Regardless of what is going on in the world, we need to have great support systems in our lives. Knowing who is/or should be apart of that group is important. It is even more important to make sure that their position is aiding to a better you. What is something that you look for in a support system or require?
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