Relationships are by far a complicated part of life. Bringing two people together to form a bond typically starts out on a positive note but, for many, things tend to take a turn for the worst; for a numerous of reasons. People are always quick to judge from the outside of relationships and give a simple “just leave” or “cut them off”. It does seem that simple when you are not an involved party, but what happens when that toxic relationship has become a comfort zone?

Comfort zones are self explanatory but not always easily recognizable. When dealing with a toxic relationship it seems contradicting that something that is bad can be comforting at the same time. Hear me out, from my personal experience it wasn’t that I loved my toxic relationship, it was more so what I had become used to. As people we adapt to our environment; toxic relationships are no different. People get used to chaos.

When you become comfortable with a toxic relationship there is no growth to be achieved. No matter how much you think things can change and become better, you must deal in reality. We like to look at potential in people. Potential is an idea that you form in your mind about a person in order to justify your reason for having them in your life. Stop doing this. Potential does not equal reality at the present moment, and may not ever happen. You cannot place your vision onto a person and expect for it to be fulfilled. People stay in toxic relationships because they think a person will change. To prevent yourself from falling trap to false hope, imagine that things won’t change.

Being in a toxic relationship with someone can be lonely. People who truly care about you will not be supportive of your toxic relationship. Not having support will lead to having no one to talk to about your issues, or you may not want to hear what they have to say. Again, this toxic relationship is your comfort so you will make up excuses where you see fit to guard that relationship. Not being able to tell others what you are really going through gives that toxic person control and keeps you closer to them and remaining in your comfort zone. I could go deeper into this, but I will save that for another post.

Toxic relationships are caused for many different reasons which in turn can cause trauma. Traumatic experiences can change everything. If a toxic relationship has reached this point it is time to take care of yourself and get better. You have to forget your comfort zone and love yourself enough to become uncomfortable.

Being in a toxic relationship can bring so much negativity to your life. Sometimes positive things can occur from a comfort zone, but not if it’s within a toxic relationship. There is nothing good that comes from toxicity. Once things have turned toxic in a relationship, anything is bound to happen. Once you allow someone to treat you a certain way they think it’s ok because you’re still there in your comfort zone willing to endure whatever negativity they bring your way.

Stop having a distorted perception of your relationship. Toxic relationships can be blinding and you might not be able to clearly see the reality of what it is. We make excuses for people when we want them to be perceived in a good light. Doing this only hurts ourselves. The red flags are there no matter how you choose to lower them or turn them another color. No one is worth you feeding yourself lies.

People stay in toxic relationships for various reasons; sometimes it’s there comfort zone. They become used to the toxicity and the person and adjust their life around it. Toxic relationships are not always caused by one person. Both people can be toxic to the other. A future outside of that comfort zone could seem frightening after you’ve attached yourself to a toxic person or situation. Believe me, things get better!

No amount of love that you think you have for a person or that they say they have for you is worth holding onto when your life has been filled with negativity, trauma, lack of self-love, no growth and the list goes on. You have to take time to discover yourself outside of that comfort zone and away from the toxic person, situation and/or behavior. You can’t help anyone unless you help yourself first. It’s time to be brave and take a step away.